The idea behind mediation is that behind each ‘situation’ in which we find ourselves lie acceptable and sometimes attractive solutions for the individuals involved. The task of course is to find these solutions. Mediation is the process of clearly defining the interests and concerns of each party and using them as a basis to develop solutions. When you split up from your partner the greatest shared interest is always the well being of your children and an involvement for both partners in their upbringing. Linked into this is the desire for independence and the wish to disentangle the financial and emotional bonds arising from your joint history.

While the relationship between you will of course impact how you discuss questions, the mediator will be looking to see what works and which agreement can be made that are practical as well as legally and fiscally sound. The mediator will not avoid the difficult and contentious issues between you but his or her approach will put the resolution of these questions above point scoring and the blame game. At the end of the mediation specific written agreements are made to embody the end result.

If you are at the stage of wondering what processes are available to effect a divorce, it is highly likely mediation is the most suitable one to achieve your aims. While the sessions are not always easy, they are infinitely preferable to fighting your way through a divorce with all the associated stress and anxiety to eventually get the decision of a judge, which is a lottery as to the outcome.